UK Population Explosion – Vegan Brexiters didn’t see this one coming!
UK Punk Invasion?
Widespread Reports of an explosion in UK Population up and down the country are coming in. Not only hitting heavily populated areas but this latest unprecedented event is affecting rural areas as well with supermarkets struggling to keep up with demand for basic daily essentials. Carrots are in heavy demand and the NUM have had their ‘nose put out of joint’ and are considering re-opening pits to meet increased demand for coal.
Government Reaction
Snowman – GSOH
No. 10 have been caught out once again, completely missing the inevitable population build up which has seemed inevitable for years. Everything came into clearer focus overnight and by morning it became clear there would be no way of stopping them at the borders. UK Border Control are at a loss to explain the latest surge in numbers as they have seen no big apparent moves at the ports or airports – nevertheless initial reports coming in on Snapchat, Facebook and Instagram are forming an indisputable pattern – the Snowmen are here.
Truck Stop Invasion
Snowmen – Wrap up for Cold Spell
It is speculated that perhaps over the last few weeks fleets of refrigerated articulated trucks have quietly slipped in to the UK and have remained parked up in truck stops and layby’s across the whole country- awaiting the Go-signal from the Mother-ship – thought to have taken up orbit over the North Pole.
Dr Who contacted
Michelin Man involved
When contacted the BBC indicated that Dr Who is currently overseas in her Tardis has been informed of the out-break but is having trouble with her inter-galactic dimensional stabiliser and astral map.
Communication Breakdown
Initial attempts by Police and Government Officials to make contact with the Snowmen and try and understand what lies behind this new influx have fallen on deaf ears whilst scattered reports indicate that young children have been able to communicate directly with the Snowmen and have come to a good understanding of each other.
Snowman – Vegan Energy Drink
Demands Emerge
Whilst alarm bells are ringing about how to home and feed this overnight invasion, and children are pleading with the Snowmen to stay and saying they are very welcome – leading figures from within the Snowmen Movement indicate that they may not be able to stay long unless their full list of demands are met.
Children’s ‘Show of Force’
The arbitration service are arranging talks set for early Monday morning as the government recognise the vast “children’s lobby” now engaged in a Nationwide “show of force” from the early hours Sunday Morning.
Snowman Demands
Supermarkets may play role
Early Reports indicate that the Snowmen have a preference for Vegan Skin Care Products and that this will form a major part of their demands along with Free Access to the freezer sections in Tesco, Waitrose, Morrisons, Asda, Aldi, Lidl, Sainsbury’s, Spar, Co-op and of course Iceland.
Boss Man Awaits
For the Vegan Skin Care the Snowmen have provided a particular Web Link to their preferred supplier and government officials are trying to arrange a bulk delivery in time for Christmas.
As Snow continues to fall, we will of course keep everyone updated as the story develops.
From our Part Time, Flexi-Job, UK Snow Correspondent
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